SNOW. DAY. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

SNOW DAY. SNOW DAY. SNOW DAY.

Am I conveying the excitement? I mean, I grew up in the Midwest. Nothing topped a snow day. Nothing. And yet, we took great pride in never actually needing them. “Oh, it’s not that bad. We totally could have gone to school today.” (Only spoken aloud once the official decision to close school had been announced on the radio! Otherwise, you jinx it!)

One of the major reasons for snow days was safety. The roads were unsafe, or it was too cold outside, or there was some other reason for the school board to fear being sued if one of us died while standing at the bus stop. And yet, I can remember multiple snow days of my youth where we ended up driving to the mall (sometimes the big mall in the big city 40 miles away.) Or where it was deemed unsafe to wait for the school bus outside, but just fine for us to go sledding or cross-country skiing.

Oh the snow day. Always welcome, never needed. Until I grew up.

I haven’t had a snow day since my senior year of high school. My hardy Midwestern university would have scoffed at the very suggestion. But the university I work for now, those pansy city folks, canceled everything. And it was glorious.

So now, let’s recap my day, shall we?

7:03 Phone rings. Very confused about whether phone is ringing or alarm is going off (Clearly not so bright in morning.) Finally deduce that phone is ringing and attempt to answer. Too late.

7:04 Voicemail beeps. “Hello, Sarah, this is O. from the provost’s office. This is official notice that campus is closed today. Have a nice day.” Shriek with excitement. Figure neighbors are up anyway.

7:05 Brush teeth.

7:07 Emerge from bathroom to see that phone has rung again. Another voice mail. Creepy boss asks me to start office phone tree. Realize that he clearly does not understand office phone tree, which HE MADE UP. Lament having to call him back on morning off, but don’t hate co-workers enough to just let him flounder.

7:14 Call creepy boss. Ask who in office I should be calling. He makes up some names, as clearly has no idea what is going on. Realize would hate to be with him in real emergency situation.

7:15 Creepy boss also tells me to call his new intern, who is supposed to be starting today. Good thing for him I have internet access in my apartment, as have to log in to webmail and dig new intern’s resume out of deleted items, as do not routinely keep new intern’s information stored in the forefront of my brain (or in my home.)

7:23 Call appointed staff members and new intern.

7:30 Log onto Facebook. Post excited status message using obnoxious capitalization.

7:36 Decide to see what snow looks like outside, as can only see back yard from window.

7:38 Probably should have put on coat and socks, as look ridiculous in pajamas, robe, and loafers. Also, feet very wet.

7:41 Return outdoors with coat, boots, and camera. Become the person I always made fun of by photographing snowy street. I mean, it’s snow, ok? It’s not new. Should get a grip. Am still overwhelmed by wonderfulness of not having to go to work.

7:47 Log back onto Facebook. Leave friends more obnoxious messages about how I have a snow day.

8:03 Wonder what to do with the rest of the morning, as am clearly up and also clearly not venturing outside. Could do many things: practice a few French lessons, clean apartment, call brother and gloat about snow day.

8:06 Decide to re-read Baby-sitters Club novel checked out of library last weekend (Told creepy library man that it was for my niece. Clearly untrue, as do not have a niece.)

8:10 Actually, decide to take a nap. After all, have been up for over one hour.

11:45 Decide is good time to get out of bed. Should shower and attempt to be decent human being.

12:45 Eat grilled cheese sandwich and watch Friends. That Chandler is one funny dude.

1:11 Want to bake something. This is what one does on snow days: one bakes. I remember making cookies with my mom on lots of snow days. Decide to continue tradition.

1:15 Decide to make cake, not cookies. Yum, cake!

2:13 Cake done. Appears to be overcooked. Damn oven thermometer that apparently does not work. Waste of six dollars. Also, what the hell am I going to do with an entire cake?

2:20 Read Baby-sitters Club book. That Stacey McGill is still so cool.

4:30 Watch Friends again. Eat cake. Cake is overdone, but still tasty. But still, what the hell am I going to do with an entire cake? Will NOT eat the whole thing. Could, but would be very, very bad idea.

4:41 Realize would already be out of work on normal day. Have not really accomplished anything, therefore fulfilling the immutable laws of snow-day-ness. Good work, Me!